WEDDING CEREMONY

of Etta and Chris

WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY TO SHARE IN THE JOY OF THE CEREMONY CALLED "MARRIAGE."  ETTA HARDEN AND CHRISTIAN DONICA HAVE CHOSEN EACH OTHER, AND TODAY THEY TAKE THE VOWS WHICH CREATE THE FOUNDATION OF THEIR MARRIAGE. FROM THIS FOUNDATION, THEIR LIVES WILL CONTINUE TO OPEN INTO EVER-EXPANDING LEVELS OF HAPPINESS, OF LOVE, OF HEALTH, AND OF SELF-EXPRESSION.

WHO PRESENTS THIS WOMAN IN MARRIAGE?

Father:  “I do”

DEEP KNOWLEDGE OF ANOTHER PERSON IS NOT SOMETHING THAT CAN BE ACHIEVED IN A SHORT TIME, FOR REAL UNDERSTANDING OF ANOTHER’S FEELINGS DEVELOPS FULLY ONLY AFTER YEARS OF INTIMACY. THIS WONDERFUL KNOWLEDGE GROWS OUT OF REALLY CARING FOR THE OTHER;  SO MUCH SO THAT ONE WANTS TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THE OTHER IS FEELING AS COMPLETELY AND AS DEEPLY AS POSSIBLE.  TO BE KNOWN IN THIS WAY, OF COURSE, IS OF PRICELESS VALUE, FOR SUCH AN UNDERSTANDING AND ACCEPTANCE MAKES IT EASIER FOR US TO LIVE WITH OUR CONCERNS, WITH OUR ENTHUSIASMS, AND WITH OUR OPPORTUNITIES FOR GROWTH.

This is not the first cycle of their lives together. Rather than starting new, this ceremony represents to Etta and Christian a new season. Just as spring is a time of planting, and summer is a time of growth, this cycle represents the harvest of growth, maturity, and abiding respect. Past success, failures, disappointments, and joy simply nourish this harvest, providing a rich and stable place from which to grow together as the cycle of life continues.

AND SO, WE ARE HERE TODAY TO CELEBRATE THE LOVE WHICH ETTA AND CHRIS HAVE FOR EACH OTHER, AND TO ADD OUR RECOGNITION TO THEIR DECISION TO ACCEPT EACH OTHER completely AND forever more.

Because the path of love is meant to be walked together with all the human family, each of us counts on relatives, friends, and neighbors for the caring and concern that replenishes our own ability to love. Christian and Etta marry this day in the midst of the affection and friendship of you all. I ask you now for your blessing on their marriage. Do you give your blessing and promise to support them as a couple in the years to come?

If so, answer together, "We do."

ETTA AND CHRISTIAN ARE CONFIDENT THAT THEIR LOVE AND THEIR FRIENDSHIP WITH EACH OTHER IS SUFFICIENT TO THEIR NEEDS AND THAT IT WILL ENABLE THEM TO CONTINUE TO GROW, IN WISDOM, IN STATURE, AND IN DEPTH IN THEIR LOVING RELATIONSHIP.

THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IS TO CREATE A LOVING SUPPORT UNIT IN WHICH BOTH ETTA AND CHRIS WILL BE ALL THAT THEY CAN BE, SPIRITUALLY, MENTALLY, AND PHYSICALLY. IN FACT, THEIR MARRIAGE ENHANCES WHO THEY ARE, AND THEY HAVE CHOSEN TO BE TOGETHER IN A MARRIAGE WHERE THEY ARE SAFE TO EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS AND THEIR THOUGHTS.

YOU KNOW, MARRIAGE CAN BE A GREAT ADVENTURE WHEN IT IS THE OUTWARD EXPRESSION OF A GREAT LOVE.  SUCH A LOVE IS CHARACTERIZED BY OPENNESS, BY UNDERSTANDING, AND, YES, EVEN BY COURAGE.  FOR IT MAKES ONE ABLE TO SEE THROUGH TO YOUR PARTNER'S ESSENCE, AND WILLING TO BE IN TOTAL SUPPORT OF YOUR PARTNER'S WELL-BEING – AND UNWILLING FOR YOUR PARTNER TO BE LESS THAN ALL THAT HE, OR SHE, CAN BE, SPIRITUALLY, MENTALLY, AND PHYSICALLY.

NOW – AND HERE'S THE TOUGH PART – SUCH A LOVE REQUIRES THAT YOU BE TOTALLY HONEST; WITH YOURSELF AND WITH YOUR MATE; THAT YOU ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT, EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY BE AFRAID; THEN DECLARE HOW IT IS FOR YOU, AND THEN STOP, AND LISTEN, AND LEAVE YOUR PARTNER FREE TO DO THE SAME. THIS KIND OF LOVE HAS ITS FOUNDATION IN THE GREATER LOVE AND HARMONY OF THE CREATIVE GOD-SPIRIT.

MARRIAGE IS THE FORM IN WHICH YOU TWO HAVE CHOSEN TO EXPRESS AND TO LIVE YOUR LOVE RELATIONSHIP, AND TO SERVE ITS PURPOSE YOUR MARRIAGE MUST CHANGE, JUST AS YOU SURELY WILL CHANGE. BUT YOUR UNCHANGING COMMITMENT TO EACH OTHER, AND TO LIFE, AND TO LOVE, ALLOWS YOU BOTH TO EXPERIENCE AND TO SHARE A MAGNIFICENCE UNKNOWN TO YOU, INDIVIDUALLY, BEFORE.

AND SO, WE ALL ACCEPT FOR YOU, BECAUSE WE ACCEPT FOR OURSELVES, A LOVE THAT GIVES YOU THE COURAGE TO STAND ALONE, AND THE DESIRE AND WILLINGNESS TO STAND TOGETHER.

IN KAHIL GIBRAN’S FAMOUS BOOK, 'THE PROPHET’, THE MASTER SPEAKS OF MARRIAGE. “YOU WERE BORN TOGETHER,” HE WROTE, “AND TOGETHER YOU SHALL BE FOREVERMORE. YOU SHALL BE TOGETHER EVEN IN THE SILENT MEMORY OF GOD. BUT LET THERE BE SPACES IN YOUR TOGETHERNESS, AND LET THE WINDS OF THE HEAVENS DANCE BETWEEN YOU. LOVE ONE ANOTHER BUT MAKE NOT A SMOTHERING BOND OF LOVE. LET IT RATHER BE A MOVING SEA BETWEEN THE SHORES OF YOUR SOULS. FILL EACH OTHER'S CUP, BUT DRINK NOT FROM JUST THE ONE CUP. GIVE ONE ANOTHER OF YOUR BREAD BUT EAT NOT FROM THE ONE LOAF. AND SING AND DANCE TOGETHER, AND LOVE EACH OTHER, AND BE JOYOUS, BUT LET EACH ONE OF YOU BE ALONE, EVEN AS THE STRINGS OF A HARP ARE ALONE, THOUGH THEY QUIVER WITH THE VERY SAME MUSIC. AND GIVE YOUR HEARTS, BUT NOT INTO EACH OTHER’S KEEPING, FOR ONLY THE HAND OF GOD CAN CONTAIN YOUR HEARTS. AND STAND TOGETHER, YET NOT TOO NEAR TOGETHER, FOR THE PILLARS OF THE TEMPLE STAND APART, AND THE OAK TREE AND THE CYPRESS GROW NOT IN EACH OTHER'S SHADOW.”

WHEN YOU TWO PROMISED TO MARRY EACH OTHER, IN THAT MOMENT, YOU COMMITTED YOURSELVES TO EACH OTHER'S LOVE. BUT TODAY, RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW, YOU ARE COMMITTING YOURSELVES ON A MUCH HIGHER LEVEL, AND THE MORE YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THAT THE SOURCE OF YOUR LOVE IS GOD IN YOU, THE MORE YOU CAN MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY FREE YOUR PARTNER TO BE ALL THAT HE AND SHE CAN BE.

AND NOW, IF YOU ARE READY TO AFFIRM YOUR VOWS, PLEASE ANSWER “YES.”

HAVE YOU BROUGHT TO THIS MARRIAGE A SYMBOL OF YOUR LOVE?

MAY I HAVE THE BRIDE'S RING PLEASE? A RING IS A SYMBOL OF LOVE, AND THE SUBSTANCE OF WHICH IT IS MADE IS A SYMBOL OF PURITY AND OF GREAT VALUE. IT IS A SYMBOL OF THE LOVE THAT YOU TWO SHARE, AND THE SHARING OF YOUR ESSENCE WITH EACH OTHER. THE RING IS A CIRCLE, AND THE CIRCLE IS A SYMBOL OF THE UNITY IN WHICH YOU WILL ALWAYS RETURN TO ONE ANOTHER. AND BECAUSE IT IS A CIRCLE, IT IS A SYMBOL THAT TRUE LOVE HAS NO BEGINNING AND HAS NO END. SO, EACH TIME THAT YOU GAZE UPON THIS RING, LET IT REMIND YOU OF THOSE VERY THINGS WHICH IT SYMBOLIZES.

[BRIDE HANDs HER FLOWERS TO HER MATRON OF HONOR]

NOW, PLEASE TURN AND FACE EACH OTHER, AND HOLD HANDS.

CHRISTIAN AND ETTA:

YOUR LOVE IS AS THE OCEAN, CONSTANT AND YET EVER-CHANGING.

YOUR LOVE IS AS THE WIND, MOVING AND ALL-ENCOMPASSING.

YOUR LOVE IS AS THE EARTH, SOLID AND FIRM.

YOUR LOVE IS AS THE FIRE, ILLUMINATING YOUR LIVES, AND WAKING YOUR HEARTS.

BUT YOUR LOVE EXTENDS BEYOND THE OCEAN, BEYOND THE WIND, BEYOND THE EARTH, AND BEYOND THE FIRE. FOR IT IS GREATER THAN WHO YOU ARE, YET IT IS MEANINGLESS WITHOUT YOU. IT IS MORE POWERFUL THAN YOUR PAST, AND IT IS THE FOUNDATION OF YOUR FUTURE. YOUR LOVE HAS BROUGHT YOU HERE TODAY TO BECOME AS ONE, AND BECAUSE YOUR LOVE IS THE VERY ESSENCE OF YOUR LIVES, IT IS FITTING THAT YOU SHOULD TODAY BECOME HUSBAND AND WIFE.

CHRISTIAN, WILL YOU HAVE ETTA TO BE YOUR BELOVED WIFE?  AND DO YOU PLEDGE THAT YOU WILL LOVE, HONOR, AND TENDERLY CARE FOR HER, IN GOOD TIMES AND IN BAD, FOR BETTER AND FOR WORSE, FOR RICHER OR POORER, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH? AND DO YOU PROMISE TO BE FAITHFUL TO HER ALONE, PROMISING NEVER TO CLOSE YOUR HEART AGAINST HER, FOR ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR LIVES?  I DO.

ETTA, WILL YOU HAVE CHRISTIAN TO BE YOUR BELOVED HUSBAND?  AND DO YOU PLEDGE THAT YOU WILL LOVE, HONOR, AND TENDERLY CARE FOR HIM, IN GOOD TIMES AND IN BAD, FOR BETTER AND FOR WORSE, FOR RICHER OR POORER, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH? AND DO YOU PROMISE TO BE FAITHFUL TO HIM ALONE, PROMISING NEVER TO CLOSE YOUR HEART AGAINST HIM, FOR ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR LIVES?  I DO.

AND NOW, CHRISTIAN WILL YOU GET READY TO PLACE THIS RING ON ETTA'S FINGER, AND WHILE YOU ARE HOLDING HER LEFT HAND AND THE RING, PLEASE REPEAT AFTER ME:

ETTA, I LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU...IN BEING ALL THAT YOU ARE...AND ALL THAT YOU WILL BECOME...WITH THIS RING...I CHOOSE YOU TO BE MY WIFE… I ADORE YOU, CHERISH YOU, AND LOVE YOU with all my heart… THIS RING IS THE SYMBOL…OF MY UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FOR YOU...LET IT ALWAYS BE TO US...OUR SYMBOL OF OUR LOVE.

CHRISTIAN, I LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU...IN BEING ALL THAT YOU ARE...AND ALL THAT YOU WILL BECOME...WITH THIS RING...I CHOOSE YOU TO BE MY HUSBAND…I ADORE YOU, CHERISH YOU, AND  LOVE YOU with all my heart… THIS RING IS THE SYMBOL…OF MY UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FOR YOU...LET IT ALWAYS BE TO US...OUR SYMBOL OF OUR LOVE.   

THE "ROSE CEREMONY"  [The text of the ceremony is not included]

AND NOW, INASMUCH AS YOU, ETTA, AND YOU, CHRISTIAN HAVE CONSENTED TOGETHER TO THIS MARRIAGE, AND HAVE WITNESSED THIS BEFORE GOD, YOUR FAMILIES AND FRIENDS PRESENT, AND HAVE PLEDGED YOUR LOVE TO EACH OTHER, THEN BY THE AUTHORITY VESTED IN ME, I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU HUSBAND AND WIFE.  AND YOU MAY NOW SEAL YOUR MARRIAGE WITH A KISS.

Remember, marriage carries important responsibilities:

Christian and Etta, may you encourage each other in whatever you set out to achieve. Together, may you discover a love that gives you the courage to stand apart and the desire to stand together. And trusting one another, trust God. and welcome his gift of love and life.

Marriage holds important responsibilities not only to each other but to your children. Teach your children the value of loving, for they learn from your example. Give your children the freedom to find their own way, and always stand by them.

I encourage you both to keep alive; to grow, to change, to maintain the capacity for wonder, for spontaneity, for humor; to remain flexible, warm, and sensitive. Give time for each other, no matter what demands are made upon your day. I encourage you to nurture each other to fullness and wholeness, realizing that each of you will need at times to bring strength, support, and worth to the other. I encourage you, as you grow to love each other more deeply, to discover out of this love a love for all of creation.

Therefore, remember to do the simple and beautiful things that will make this love a treasure. Be thankful for one another. Love is always a gift. Open your heart; open your hands, open your eyes, and allow the radiance of this love to utterly and endlessly illuminate you.

AS WE PREPARE TO CLOSE THIS CEREMONY, LET US ALL JOIN TOGETHER IN PRAYER.  MAY I ASK ALL OF US WHO ARE GATHERED HERE IN THIS PLACE, AT THIS TIME, PERHAPS OF DIFFERENT FAITHS, BUT AWARE THAT WE ALL BELIEVE IN THE ONENESS OF GOD, TO JOIN ME IN THIS PRAYER, ACCORDING TO YOUR OWN FAITH. SO, LET US ALL PRAY:

BELOVED GOD, AS CHRISTIAN AND ETTA BEGIN THEIR LIVES TOGETHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE, WE GIVE THANKS FOR THE OPPORTUNITY, NOW, TO BLESS THEM WITH OUR PRAYERS.  AND SO WE SEE THEM, GOD, AS YOU ALREADY KNOW THEM TO BE; HAPPY AND PEACEFUL, WHOLE AND FREE, FULFILLED AND PROSPEROUS, AND WITH A LOVE THAT GROWS DEEPER EVERY DAY. AND SO WE THANK YOU, GOD, IN OUR HEARTS, THAT THE SUCCESS WHICH IS DESIRED IN THIS MARRIAGE IS ALREADY ASSURED. FURTHER WE ASK THAT THEY EXTEND THE LOVE THAT THEY SHARE, AND TO BE TEACHERS OF LOVE AND OF ONENESS TO AN EVER-EXPANDING CIRCLE OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS.

May your home be bright with the laughter of family and friends. May it become a source of peace and strength for all who gather there. May it be filled with creativity and love and most of all may it become the one place in all the world that you most want to be.

Love comes like the warm breeze in the springtime. It grows stronger each day like a plant exposed to the hot days of summer. It increases the understanding and beauty like a tree standing before the changing season of autumn. With deep roots it stands serenely before the chilling days of winter. Trust each other generously, cherish one another always, speak honestly, and love devotedly.  AND SO, IN THE NAME OF THE ONE LIVING SPIRIT OF GOD, LET US ALL SAY, AMEN.

[NEWLYWEDS TURN AND FACE FAMILIES AND FRIENDS]

AND NOW, IT IS WITH GREAT PLEASURE THAT I PRESENT TO YOU, OUR NEWLY-WEDDED COUPLE, MR. AND MRS. DONICA!

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